I'd like to say there are only a handful of foods that inspire the vacancy of dietary responsibility. But, sadly, that would be an untruth of grand proportion. There are many foods that, just by their sheer sight or smell, cause me to abandon all respectable control (or any control for that matter). Foods like chocolate, or butter, and heavy cream, or potatoes and cheese. And then there's tender beef and succulent shrimp (bathed in butter), or bread and blue cheese. Oh, and don't forget ice cream made with real cream and toasted pecans on top. Maybe drizzled, no slathered, in homemade caramel sauce. Wait. I forgot bread pudding and it's trusty side-kick, bourbon cream sauce.
And now that I've made myself starved and hungry, I must confess a new-found weakness. But it is a weakness I pledge to abandon almost as quickly as I embraced it. At least I think so. (Especially since I indulged earlier today and can profess my strength in resistance.)
This weakness began several weeks ago at what I believed would be an innocent play date with the 18-month old son of friends. As they approached our front door, I noticed a large box carefully cradled in the hands of a dear woman, who I know under most circumstances would be carrying her son. But no. She was consumed with the cautious and tedious transport of delicacies. In her cradled arms was a box of Gigi's Cupcakes.
After carefully opening the box and viewing the 12 beautiful treats inside, then came the most difficult crossroads of my friendship with this dear woman – exactly which cupcake to consume first. There weren't words or gestures or movement. There was simply a moan of heavenly pleasure at the sinking of teeth into the fresh buttercream and dense cake. Resistance was futile and a complete waste of calories burned.
And yesterday on my way home from work, my car seemed to steer itself to Gigi's. I couldn't resist getting out of the car; there was some unidentifiable force pulling me off my bum and into Gigi's.
But today, all I can say is DARN YOU, GIGI! Darn you for being responsible for the width of my bum and thighs. Darn you for being so good. Darn you! Darn you over and over and over again. Darn you… until I see you again.